The tale of a vegetarian - For frequently asked questions.

I avoid meats and seafood. I do not despise them, I do not have any issues if the food I eat had been cooked with meat. I can leave the meats aside and have the meal. Getting started was not easy, constant debates on the nutrition facts and trying to convince mum. Getting ‘vegetable soup’ with clear taste of sprats was not helping either. It was a gesture to ensure a child got the nutrition that she felt might be missing. Negotiations had to made, it was agreed upon – no meats and seafood, but the occasional egg was added as a caveat.

Being a vegetarian or not is a personal decision. Those who eat meat have facts as to why they should, likewise so do those who do not. Exchanging of facts about food chains, religious restrictions, explanations, yada yada, either way all simply seem like saying: I am right and do not respect your decision.

My purpose of being a vegetarian is not entirely based on the lives of animals. My knowledge on food chains, nutrition and suffering animals go through is limited to what I grew up with, what society taught me and what I see through technology. Knowing this is reason enough for me to not impose my views on others.

All these are transactions, when a thought arises in the mind, be it to convince a person as to eat or not to. The common notion is to speak up on behalf of that thought that arose in the mind and defend it. I like to take a step back. To analyze the thoughts themselves. Work backwards to see the core.

Without doubt the most delicious dish on a table would be the meat. There is nothing wrong with going ahead and indulging in the meal. What I personally prefer is to avoid it, to see the thoughts that arise when I do. To observe what happens during that decision and over time. Just observe, try not to be judgmental and do an honest self-assessment.

Those observations, and getting to know oneself, ones’ thoughts have been much more valuable to me personally than if I had gone ahead and just enjoyed the meal. These observances have only made my trust in the teachings of the Buddha stronger. A trust that does not entirely depend on faith. One which reason is allowed and encouraged. To think for oneself, observe oneself and get going on the path.

Being a vegetarian has been a sacrifice, giving up dishes that tastes best - for an experiment with results. A sacrifice that I like to think of as an offering to the Buddha. For the compassion to make us aware of wrong social views and defilement within the mind. To encourage us to see things for what they really are. The act of being a vegetarian is an action that does not bring harm to oneself or others J

Want happiness?

Taking a step back sometimes lets you look at the big picture, a picture you were a part of, a picture you will be a part of once again after the temporary step back. When inside this picture we are constantly trying to figure out what we want to draw, what the drawing means, how the drawing of life will turn out to be. We make plans, get hurt, go out, try to make sense of things and seek distractions. When the picture does not look good we wonder why the picture is bad and how other painters appear to be painting a better picture when in your point of view you have done nothing wrong to deserve it.
We hope, we wait, we seek a distraction from the bad picture that seems to be drawing on our own canvas.

We help other painters, we do good, however do we painters deep inside our hearts expect that good to come to us once again? do we give but hold on? expect a better picture for ourselves because we have helped other painters?

The truly happy painter helps other painters draw their picture but expects nothing in return. He himself draws, but he draws wisely. He understands that the nature of the painting is such that it will be good at times and bad at others. He accepts the nature of the painting for what it really is, he does not try to control it, he is at peace with the canvas and has the bliss of knowing he helped other painters. He helped without expecting anything in return, he has no attachments. He is at peace.

As the famous story goes, one person says to another: "I want happiness", the other reaches  and erases "I want" and said, there you go now you are left with "happiness".
Be the smart painter, draw when you have to, help other painters when you can, understand the nature of the painting, do a great job and truly let go.

- May all beings be well and happy. 

Holding On - the cause of suffering

We suffer because we hold on , because we are attached to concepts, ideas, feelings, emotions, etc. We have all grown up in an environment that promotes these thoughts, to live within the world built on top of concepts. If one is able to break away from these concepts and see it at a high level for what life really is, that I believe is a true victory. Then when you hear the true Dhamma, to understand what is being said and to know that there is a path shown to us, one we must walk ourselves. Then arises a a positive feeling, a happiness that there is a way out of it all. Once the realisation that nothing is permanent settles inside you, and the fact that death can come to you at any given moment, we should, to the best of our ability try to walk the path... walk the path and see through it to completion.

A nice story I heard about how holding on causes suffering:

Once there were two monks walking through the forest to their shelter. They came across a river not very deep which they had to cross. However the boat was on the other side and they had to cross by foot. There was also a lady who was unable to cross, so while the senior monk was on his way to the other side, the junior monk offered to help the lady cross the river and carried her to the other side.  The senior monk did not approve of this and was angry at the junior monk for his act.

Once on the other side the junior monk bid farewell to the lady and joined the senior monk on their walk back to the shelter. The senior monk was furious at this point but said nothing. Once back in the shelter the senior monk who was not unable to control his anger due to the increased heat of thinking about the act over and over in his mind shouted at the junior monk.

The junior monk replied: I left the lady at the river, it looks like you have brought her with you all this way.

Moral: do not carry luggage of emotion, attachment (good or bad) etc. with you, it weighs you down.

- May all beings be well and happy. 

The life race.

A nice story I heard about the life race. The race where the finish line always seem to drag further away from us. The race we keep on running.
Society today is in a race, because we are unable to distinguish the differences between our needs and our wants. Most of us have our needs, and having the capability to be satisfied and content with what we have, we run a never ending race to fulfill our wants.  It is NEEDS vs WANTS.

There used to be a woodcutter in a forest, he usually cuts some wood in the morning and spends the remaining of day relaxing with his family. One day a person walked up-to him and said,
Person: why don't you cut more wood and buy a lorry
Woodcutter: and then ?
Person: Then you can sell more wood and make more money
Woodcutter: and then ?
Person: then you can buy more lorries and sell more wood making more money
Woodcutter: and then?
Person: Then you can build a nice big house and put your own employees to work
Woodcutter: and then ?
Person: then you will have more time to relax and spent time with your family
Woodcutter: I worked in the morning, now I am relaxing and have time to spend with my family.

This is a good story for the needs vs wants scenario. Usually we compare ourselves with others and that is when wants arise. A man walking on bare foot will be happy the way he is until he sees someone riding a bicycle and then he feels he is suffering. Suffering is always a personal judgement, one we make up relating to others.

- May all beings be well and happy. 

The 4 supporters when patience alone cannot win the battle.

This contains a good piece of advice I heard from Doramadalawa. Usually being patient alone is not enough, we can do a few things in order to avoid going over things that usually drags us down.

1.Think the opposite:
If you are angry at someone for example, every time you feel that way you can actually spread good will to that person, be different and send that message to the mind. Let go and be at peace. After all you are the one that has the anger, it is eating you up inside, so sending a much better signal to the mind and being at easy is a path that should be taken.

2. Do not revisit:
We all do it, revisit the bad memories and think about it over and over again. Hoping for a explanation,  looking for alternatives that could have happened etc. If someone scolds you for example, or says something harsh that made you get upset. what needs to be realized here is that every-time you go over it in your head you are trying to re-live that moment. Since that is not what you want, stop revisiting it.


3. Go back and think about the start:
If you really want to think about it, do it just once. Go to the beginning and think, why was that said to me? was the person who said it in a bad mood ? or is the situation as bad as I think it is to be frustrated over it? usually it is not and it is us ourselves that have made a big fuss.

4. Go and think the possible ending:
Then we can go and think of the possible ending. What happened has happened, we can now try to fix it and mainly get a hold of it and be at peace with it just the way it happened. It is our own attachment that puts us in these situations, so the way you related to situations decides how you feel about it later on and nothing else.

- May all beings be well and happy. 

Change the World ?

People people people... always trying to change the world they live in. This is not about the type of change done by great people like Mahatma Gandhi or Mother Theresa. This is about people trying control and expect from others. A simple notion, it is so simple that it is hard to understand. Most people try to change the world they are in by trying to control others and expecting from others. But this never works, you can live better when you do not try to control people and accept them for who they are. Also when you do not expect anything from others, you are never really disappointed (sounds like something you wanted for a long time ? ;) ).

These simple points are best put forward with some sort of narration to visualise. Lets say that what a man wants is to - "Walk comfortable anywhere he walks on earth" (not be disappointed), he can do one of two things, 1) Cover the entire Earth with leather so he will always be walking on leather (control and expect from people)... 2) He could easily wear two leather shoes, so anywhere he walks he will feel comfortable (adjust your perception - do not expect from others or try to control them). So decide if you want to cover the entire Earth with leather, which cannot be achieved in a lifetime or if you will wear some comfortable shoes when you walk :D

- May all beings be well and happy. 

The Path

All the posts boils down to this, that one should not try to control a situation but to accept things as they are and adapt. All negative emotions can be said to be because one tries to control and when that does not go well... we have all been there so decide for yourself.

Accepting all the good and bad as they are and not complaining and adapting is that way to go. This can be illustrated from a story I once heard. People like stories no matter how old they are :P so here goes...

Story:

Once upon a time :D .. there was a boy living in China with his dad. They had only one horse and one day they noticed that it had run away the previous night. People were expressing their thoughts saying what a terrible situation it was and what a loss it is to the family. The dad however remained composed and accepted the situation.

A few days later the horse was back and to their surprise it had brought along with it another horse from the wild. People were expressing their thoughts this time as well, saying what a good turn of events it has been and how lucky the family is since they now have two horses.

Again the dad remained composed and accepted the situation.

Few days later the son who was now training the wild horse fell off the horse and broke his leg. People again expressed their thoughts saying how unfortunate the situation was and about the bad patch the family was going through. The dad still remained composed and accepted the situation, neither being sad nor happy.

This was during a time when the government was recruiting soldiers and the young males were forced to join the army. However since the son had a leg injury he was of no use as a soldier and was not taken away.

The moral of the story is that there is no use trying to control the situations you are faced with. Being happy when the situation is good and sad when it is bad is the common perception but the better way is to be indifferent to every situation and accept it as it is which makes it easier to adapt.

- May all beings be well and happy.