Bad Times ?

Bad experiences feels..umm bad :P but the more you have, the more you start to understand what others go through. If a bad experience does not make one turn evil and stuff because of the hurt feelings, you could in fact be able to understand your surroundings better.

Most of these unpleasant experiences can be said to be because of wrong views, or ideas. Also they are mainly associated with either something or someone . Trick is to not to be affected, to expect the unexpected. People around you will change their mind all the time (you must be yourself) but if one is able to be calm in such scenarios and NOT repeat the situation over and over in one's head, gradually it should pass.

The more the experiences, the more you will be able to see the view of other people ,as you have been in similar situations. Point being that no one wants to face any kind of bad experience, but if dealt with any, not being affected by it and not holding onto things should do the trick, however this is one of the most difficult things to do, but it is definitely not impossible.

So leave those heavy burdens of unpleasant experiences aside and live calmly.

- May all beings be well and happy. 

Think you need advice ?

Advice is a funny thing, usually a person has his/her own perception of what is wrong and right but sometimes still seeks advice. Unless in a situation where some sort of knowledge or experience is lacking, seeking advice can be somewhat a funny business.

Ever noticed how advice is there in various forms? and two people can give contrasting views on the same matter. What do you do then ? Obviously you do what your minds wants you to do, you choose the advice of whoever who said what you wanted to hear. This is mainly due to being unable to make a decision and needing that kick from someone to go ahead with what you want to do. So does advice work then? Usually you end up doing what you want to do.

Next interesting thing I noticed is how advice is asked for. Ever noticed how when asking advice you emphasis on the parts you want to tell, and perhaps purposely leave some important bits and pieces of your story out? This is again mainly in order for your benefit, your mind will make sure you tell the story not as it is, but emphasizing on the bits and pieces that you want to be heard.

Advice is mainly looked for at bad and desperate times, when you feel down, like the unluckiest person on the planet (you just remembered one situation didn't you :P ). The fact about these situations and even the good ones are that they change ! In a bad situation you can always expect a good one around the corner and the other way around. Lets go into a story shall we :)

Once upon a time... ;) There lived a young king, He usually celebrated for days over profits, victories and so on, spending quite a bit of his assets, however when things were not going as well as he expected he would stay in his castle locked up and depressed. This was seen as a problem by his advisers, and as a solution they made him a ring with the words "This will change" engraved on it. The king saw it during every situation, when he was happy he saw the ring and hence knew that it would change hence did not overly celebrate and during bad times he knew similarly that this would change and hence did not spend time depressed and repenting but rather did what he thought was best.

Seeking advice should be done carefully and with an open mind. The wrong advice could land you in a worse position that you were in to begin with. Do not rush for solutions when things are not going well, know it will change and find the best solution you can find calmly (easily said than done).

- May all beings be well and happy. 

Tracy Chapman - Unsung psalm - From YouTube

Unsettled business

The voice that keeps on talking inside your head, about things you are not sure of, things you cannot take back, things you regret, things you wish you did... and the list goes on depending on every individual.

This continuous thinking on such matters inside one's head also known as inner chattering makes one feel less about oneself and leads to negative emotion. The heavy burdens that comprises of the past memories and worries about future that haunt us effecting the present.

Settling such issues usually gives some form of comfort, this could be in the form of apologies or other actions to rectify the damage done in the past. However when the past is concerned it should be realized that what is done cannot be undone. Hence by repeatedly thinking about it and reliving those memories, you not only go through the pain again but also allow the past to effect the present moment . Make peace with your past, for what is done is done and live the present moment leaving the baggage containing the burdens of the past aside.

As far as the future is concerned, worrying about it and thinking it will not turn out the way you would like it to, is again a waste of time. The future being something you cannot predict is not worth worrying about, since if you start thinking the alternatives are endless. This is a major concern specially for students including myself who fear it might not turn out well. The best that can be done however is to live the present moment well with a calm outlook towards life and this will eventually help make the right decisions for a better future.

The best would be to settle unfinished business to a possible level while moving on with life, leaving the heavy burdens of the past and worries about the future aside. This paves the way to live the present moment with an attitude of calmness which allows for your well being.

Focus calmly at the present moment and the present moment only.

- May all beings be well and happy. 

The "will be better IF" scenario

This is mainly based on one of the talks done by Ajahn Brahmavamso Maha Thero about your relation to a situation.

Personally the thought that a situation or that life itself would be better if something is achieved or if another course of events have taken place has crossed my mind many times.
The realization that this is in fact a waste of time and a delusion was after listening to a talk by Ajahn Brahmavamso Maha Thero who related a story about two people who came to meet him once. One was depressed about her marriage and wanted to get a divorce, she believed that with that she would be able to live happily thereafter. The other lady was depressed about being single and wanted to be engaged in a relationship, she too believed that once she was in a relationship she would be happier.

This scenario shows that these two people wanted what the other had, but what is clear is that both them were unhappy even while they both possess something the other desired. Then he pointed out that it was not the situation in which they were in that caused the suffering but their relation to the situation. It is wise not to look for alternatives but to relate to your situation well and to be at peace with it. The first lady was advised to look at the good in the husband and to talk problems over in a calm manner, while the other was told to look at the brighter side of life.

This story shows that the suffering does not actually end by getting what you want, but it simply transforms from one form of suffering to another form of suffering.

This does not mean that people should not try to improve their living standards and well being. It simply means to be calm with your life, look at it with compassion and to relate well to every situation.

People and myself personally have thoughts such as, life being better if we had a better car, house, job etc. While trying to achieve these things being content and not complaining about your current situation and trying to make the best of things will get you to the top.

What you think you become.

- May all beings be well and happy.